Wednesday, July 23, 2008

grow some wings

we should go full steam ahead with stem cell research. not for disease or solving current medical problems. fuck that shit. we need to figure out how to grow wings... or fuse them on. if people could fly it would snap our economy right back into an upward trend. no more high fuel prices! petro would only be used for transportation of goods... and by those who didn't want to become 'freaks of nature.'

there would be no need to pay ridiculous amounts for airline tickets (maybe to jet overseas on occasion). we would all be doing our part to make the world 'greener.' though i'm not sure how the increase of food consumption (obviously burning an excessive amount of calories flying around all the time) would effect the functionality of the economy. i am confident it would correct itself.

no more traffic. no more cars for personal use. just public transportation to get you somewhere, if for some reason (i can't think of one) that you wouldn't want to fly. with global warming on the rise, flight will soon be possible year-round.

what better way to create more jobs in america then wing fabrication? no one would trust wings built in china. people don't go to china or india for surgery - why would they have those cheap labor countries build something as valuable as an extension of self? boom. another boost in our economy. turn the car manufacturing plants into wing centers. this would also breath some new life into the travel sector, making american an even stronger global competitor.

retail would increase. you obviously wouldn't be able to wear that gap shirt you bought last season... no wing room. just like that, a whole new market begging for designers to lend their creativity and sensibilities.

new technology would be created to make the gps location of others flying known.

health care costs would rise. stupid people would require more care, but with all that money freed up from no longer having to pay for a car (gas, insurance, maintenance, etc.) better facilities would be built and more care available.

though i guess we wouldn't need to do any of this if we had just learned from our past fuel shortages and economic downturns. maybe have looked into a sustainable fuel source or two, instead of modeling our approach to solving our problems of over consumption after a college student cramming for an exam that starts in three minutes.

have fun paying upwards of $4.50 a gallon for gas. i'm looking into wings.

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